Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"The Best State of the Union Drinking Games 2014"

From the International Business Times:
President Barack Obama will deliver his fifth State of the Union address on Tuesday, and even some of his biggest cheerleaders are starting to doubt whether the many challenges he vowed to overcome in 2008 will ever be met. But even if you feel like you’ve heard all the rhetoric before, there’s no reason to skip SOTU 2014 -- just don’t watch it sober. In the end, what better way to numb the pain of an intractable health care system, a disappearing middle class and eternal partisan gridlock than having a few drinks with friends?
IBTimes has culled together some of the State of the Union drinking games for 2014 (and there was a surprising number to choose from). As always, please drink responsibly, and remember it’s only Tuesday.

Those of us who remember the 2012 presidential contest between Obama and Mitt Romney will recall how difficult it was to stomach the protracted campaign without throwing a few back. At the time, the good folks at Debate Drinking came to our rescue with some brilliantly conceived drinking games for the presidential debates and another one for election night. Now they’re back with a brand-new game for SOTU 2014. The rules require that players pick a side (Team Bo and Team Sunny) and drink accordingly. Obama’s buzzwords include “challenge,” equality,” “Congress” and “Iran.” Republican terms include “Future,” “threat,” “wage” and “military.” Good luck. Full Game.

The Daily Caller
Who says right-wingers don’t know how to have fun? The conservative website Daily Caller was founded four years ago -- at the height of Obamamania -- so it’s difficult to imagine what its writers will talk about once the current administration is no longer in power. In the meantime, their SOTU drinking game is pretty amusing. Our favorite rule: Make a mimosa if John Boehner looks especially orange. Full Game.

Huffington Post
Since we added the Daily Caller, an entry from its left-leaning nemesis only seemed only fair. Jason Linkins, an opinion writer for HuffPost Politics, came up with a drinking game that is much more comprehensive, if only slightly more daring. OK, so we know Obama isn’t really going to pull out clemency papers for Edward Snowden and place them on a bear trap (one of the rules), but you never know: He may just quote Daft Punk. Full Game.

InTheCapital.com
Streetwise Media’s InTheCapital has conjured up a nice insiders’ game for booze-thirsty Beltway types, courtesy of lifestyle writer Sophie Pyle. In addition to numerous buzzwords, the game requires players to finish their drinks whenever Vice President Joe Biden stands and Boehner stays seated. Also, take two sips when there’s a standing ovation. This is likely to be a high-scorer, so be careful. Full Game.
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State of the Union Drinking Game 2014

Here are Wonkette's suggestions:
If Barack Obama uses pretty liberal words to dress up some Third Way nonsense, sip elegantly from a white wine spritzer.

If Barack Obama kills Osama Bin Laden again, shotgun a Budweiser, for Merica.

If Barack Obama class-wars the job creators and makers, by tyrannically asking them to pay their “fair share,” smash a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue on the floor so nobody else can have any.

If Obama mentions immigration reform, drink a shot of tequila. If Republicans don’t stand and applaud, drink another shot of tequila and yell at a Mexican.

If Scalia scowls, kneecap the person to your left.

If Joe Biden does something adorable, send him a lovely handwritten letter at Vice President Joe Biden, Naval Observatory, 3450 Massachusetts Ave NW, Washington, DC 20392.